Monthly Archives: November 2009

Researchers shocked to discover they cannot teach

Researchers shocked to discover they cannot teach

The study, conducted by Emory University professor Carla Hoffman, scrutinized hundreds of classes at nationally-recognized schools including Princeton University and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. While the study consistently showed that social skills and enthusiasm had a much greater impact on teaching ability than the conferment of lavishly-decorated paper...

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Aggressive accounting recruiters divert zombie apocalypse

Aggressive accounting recruiters divert zombie apocalypse

Few mainstream scientists believe that "zombies" (reanimated human corpses motivated only by their unearthly compulsion to ingest the flesh of the living) have ever existed outside of the low-budget horror movies that popularized them in the 1960s. Information reviewed by The Torch indicates that, on the contrary, zombies do in fact exist---and that most of...

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Emory mascot promotes anorexia, feminists claim

Emory mascot promotes anorexia, feminists claim

“We're sick of the way our society tries to make these celebrities feel beautiful. Kate Moss, Paris Hilton—they're skin and bones, and it's disgusting,” said group leader Ashleigh Melton during an ill-advised blind date with a hapless Torch reporter Friday. “Thousands of womyn die from eating disorders every year, and Emory has...

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Students can’t focus, blame LearnLink

Students can’t focus, blame LearnLink

LearnLink, the communication and e-mail software connecting students and faculty, has become the scapegoat for Emory students struggling with declining productivity, supposedly causing massive disruptions throughout the day and extending the time required to complete homework by as much as 300%.

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