Monthly Archives: December 2009

DUC to begin serving food, sources say

DUC to begin serving food, sources say

Emory officials today confirmed plans for the kitchen at Dobbs University Center ("the DUC"), a popular eatery for students who have no other options, to begin serving only edible products during the spring semester of 2010. "We were receiving several thousand complaints every semester about the DUC," recalled Connie Sattis-Long, Emory's Green Director of...

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Flexicon: The Football System

Flexicon: The Football System

The Football System. That's right. A sport even more worthy of becoming a sexual metaphor than one symbolized by sticks, balls, and hulking men waiting pants-less in bathroom stalls for their trainer to inject something into their butts. We've appropriated some of the best-known football lingo so that you and your...

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