Monthly Archives: April 2010

Ugly, boring British student to record 1,000th sexual conquest

Ugly, boring British student to record 1,000th sexual conquest

Experts say the young man, whose cartoonish overbite and overwhelming awkwardness make Napoleon Dynamite look like a Lotharian paragon of masculine sexuality, has defied all of the genetic disadvantages cruelly imposed on him by centuries of reckless British inbreeding.

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Emory scraps plans to recruit outside of Long Island

Emory scraps plans to recruit outside of Long Island

"Our current admission process under-emphasizes the difficulty of growing up in a non-Long Island household," Dr. Jordan told Torch over the phone. "We wanted to really dig deeply into the applications of these 'disadvantaged' young people to see how they could be special without owning BMWs or growing up 'just outside the...

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