I Hate The Internet: Craigslist

I Hate The Internet: Craigslist

The internet is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it helps to connect people who might otherwise be alone in the world (people who believe themselves to be dragons, for example). It helps a guy in Amsterdam selling used ladies' underwear find an enthusiastic business man in Japan. It even...

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Fraternity donates couch to sperm bank

Fraternity donates couch to sperm bank

Arriving late yesterday afternoon in a rented U-Haul with a very special creamy center, the young men surprised the clinic with a couch still damp from the festivities of the previous evening. "We're pretty sure this is the jizziest couch we had," said one brother. "There are some wet spots that are still drying,...

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Frisbee team suspected of performance-enhancing drug abstinence

Frisbee team suspected of performance-enhancing drug abstinence

The Ultimate Players Association (or "UPA"), the body governing collegiate ultimate frisbee, announced at a press conference this morning that it will immediately begin investigating the Georgia Tech frisbee team for illegally avoiding marijuana smoke during the 2009 season.

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I Hate The Internet: Cats That Look Like Hitler

I Hate The Internet: Cats That Look Like Hitler

I am of course referring to that bastion of zany comedy, that creative outpost on a College-Humor-dominated landscape, catsthatlooklikehitler.com.

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DUC to begin serving food, sources say

DUC to begin serving food, sources say

Emory officials today confirmed plans for the kitchen at Dobbs University Center ("the DUC"), a popular eatery for students who have no other options, to begin serving only edible products during the spring semester of 2010. "We were receiving several thousand complaints every semester about the DUC," recalled Connie Sattis-Long, Emory's Green Director of...

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Flexicon: The Football System

Flexicon: The Football System

The Football System. That's right. A sport even more worthy of becoming a sexual metaphor than one symbolized by sticks, balls, and hulking men waiting pants-less in bathroom stalls for their trainer to inject something into their butts. We've appropriated some of the best-known football lingo so that you and your...

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